When I was 15 one of my teachers told me it was incorrect to start a sentence with “because”
“why” I asked
“Because its not good English” he said.

This post is dedicated to that hypocrite and all hypocrites everywhere, we know who we are.

So why am i once again in the pub? Well, Because its good, at the end of a day at school, to chillax with a pint of frosty larger in a basement pub, listening to a death metal cover of a Brintney Spears’ song played at health and safety defying levels. Because the beer feels like cold hope hitting my gullet. Because there is no happier man than one with nothing to do but pass time recording his spurious thoughts in one of his old haunts. Because the job involves having your emotional wits about you every second of the day and to have the wall of self control gradually dissolve in a wave of chilled and bubbled liquid is a luxury afforded rarely. Because i spent three hours at the gym last night which, by my reckoning puts my body’s health/abuse ledger if not in the black, then a little less in the red than it was. Because I fucking want to, and I’m a grown up, with my civil liberty’s being eroded by a nanny government scared of a fictional boogy man, this is one of the few things I’m still allowed to do. Because although I cant imagine living anywhere but a city, sometime i really don’t want to be around people.

On the way over here I saw a group of cider drinking hobos and momentary envied them, I wouldn’t be so crass as to suggest they have a easy life. But, for a few brief seconds the thought of spending ending my days hanging with a group of people, with no judgments or pretensions, just me my friends , a couple of scary looking dogs, and neon blue bottle of Frosty Jacks was an attractive one. One the was wearing a t-shirt with “FCUK AL-QUIDA” over the chest and I couldn’t help but be pleased. I really hope this is a party line with all the cider drinking hobos, a cross party message designed to endear themselves to the public heart. Lets face it these people have been fucked by the barbed end of capitalism, its probably only the no booze rule stopping these fuckers strapping Semtex to their chest and delivering themselves to Allah and a bunch of virgins with all the petrol tasting cider they can drink.

Advertisements